Triple birthday formal

Sarah LB: "Sorry, who is Buttplug McQueefqueef?"
- Sarah comes in late to a very normal conversation

Sophie: "Must-get-delicious-lamb! Must get DELICIOUS LAMB!"
- while machete-ing the tasty but unyielding lamb shank

Megan: "We have been whipping people... just the essentials."
Richard: "You whip 'the essentials'?"
- don't look at me, I don't remember how this happened

In the restaurant for Emma's birthday:

Me (slightly more quietly than usual):
Oooh! Fat lady, everywhere o'clock!





On facebook walls from a friend who fears my 4 networks compared to her 1:

Hannah:
I am terrified of your networks. :-P xxx

Me:
I fear them; they're breeding and bickering amongst themselves.
But I daren't disturb them, lest they unite against the common foe, and slaughter me to feed their younglings - :(

Lecturers again

Re. A. pleuropneumoniae infection:
"Don't have time to eat. Don't have time to drink. Too busy dying."

and just randomly:
"Now remember, there's enough histamine in your bodies to kill you. Do NOT release all your histamine in one go. You'll be dead."

Our lecturers have odd ideas of "fun".

Lecturer #1:

"Hmm, we might think of getting some dead dog heads and having a fun afternoon... have a good laugh and do it all together."
Re: removing eyeballs.

Lecturer #2:

"Have you seen this? Let's watch it anyway; bit of light relief."
Re: video of pigs mating.

New term, new lecturer quotes.

Lecturer:

"Leptospirosis is a disease of lamp-posts."