Graduation is a solemn occasion

To Bailey, as they create the groups of four:

Praelector: And you'll get all four fingers because you're special.

And, whilst searching for an absent graduand...

Praelector: Cox. Cox? Cox! Cox! Cox?!


I hear it was good wine last night, eh?

Did he really just say that?

Blaise's mum: "I used to dance on tables..."

Richard: "For money?"

She was just ox-ing for that pun

Told to me after they'd been out on a countryside walk:

Gerard: "Those calves have a lot of energy, look at them running around."
Louise: "They're gamboling."
Gerard: "The steaks must be high..."

It runs in the family

After I, then Mammy, missed several calls on a few different days because we'd both forgotten to turn our mobiles off silent, HL tries to understand our logic -

HL: " 'I know my phone has this feature so I know when someone is contacting me. But I choose to disable this feature, you know, to make it more exciting' ?"

Well, that's all okay then

Talking to owners who had returned to collect their dog, having been touring the town centre to kill time during the day -

Clinician: "So, did you enjoy the town?"
Owner: "Oh yes, busy though, when we went to see the colleges and all."
Clinician: "So you met the hundred and one Chinese and Japanese tourists! At least they're short enough you can see the sights over their heads..."
[everyone laughs]
Me: [amused] "I should probably point out that my future in-laws are Chinese."
Clinician: "Really?! Well, pretend I just said Japanese then."