In the restaurant for Emma's birthday:

Me (slightly more quietly than usual):
Oooh! Fat lady, everywhere o'clock!





On facebook walls from a friend who fears my 4 networks compared to her 1:

Hannah:
I am terrified of your networks. :-P xxx

Me:
I fear them; they're breeding and bickering amongst themselves.
But I daren't disturb them, lest they unite against the common foe, and slaughter me to feed their younglings - :(