The Quote Book

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

OMF. G.

This was a certain surprise to me, and perhaps we shall never know the truth, but Nick Plummer has been truly inspired to send me the following text message...

"As much as this might disturb you, i dreamt about you last night. In a sexual way in fact. Not sex with me though, you were fingering a duck and trying to calculate when it would reach orgasm. Apparently it was 32% there when i interrupted you :S

i've no idea either...

From: Plummer Nick, 8.04 29-Aug-06"

Monday, August 21, 2006

Hybrids and pronunciations

This all started with a new track that was being introduced to me...

Bailey: you know, pandora.com has me listening to a lot of very Gothy-named music... :P
Richard: Oh dear - well, this may be showing the secret roots of your current music choice...
Bailey: My "roots", as you put it, draw on "Sonne" by Rammstein.
Bailey: Dramatic vocals and power guitar.
Richard: Your rootz.
Bailey: That was all I asked.
Richard: In da Hood.
Bailey: Goths are into hip-hop now?
Richard: Imagine the unholy offspring...
Bailey: "Yo, G. What be tha haps ma may-aaaahn?" "Naw much, braw. Just chillin' mah illin', thinkin' 'bout how vamps got it real, aight?"
Richard: I'm not sure that white make-up would really cut it with the darker hues amongst us - they may need to upgrade to emulsion.
Bailey: "Word - they be damned all eternal-like, they got they's angst on... they got tha *skillz*, dude..."
Bailey: Well, what with all the pre-existing wiggas, I don't think it'd make much difference.
Richard: You speak truthfully.

And later...

Bailey: We're going to use "vagoo" any time in the future that the word "vagina" or a substitute is required in conversation, aren't we?
Richard: Not until you asked...
Richard: :D
Bailey: How do you think it's pronounced?
Richard: Like Ragu only with a "v".
Richard: Perhaps the emphasis on the 2nd syllable.
Bailey: Hm.
Bailey: I agree with the choice of "g" sound.
Bailey: I don't know about the inflection.
Richard: You would prefer "VAG-oo"?
Bailey: Perhaps.
Richard: Or even "VA-goo"?
Bailey: the first of those two.
Bailey: Not the second.
Richard: I think that the 2nd syllable should lengthened too - :D
Bailey: :D
Bailey: Yes.
Bailey: That will do.
Bailey: Vag-OOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo!
Richard: :D :D :D
Richard: Sarah Tang shall have to be recruited.

Bailey: She will spread the word.
Bailey: {...}
Bailey: Aaaaaaand the Game is lost.

Monday, August 07, 2006

On chips.

Detangled from MSN...

The Enemy says:
but did i tell you about the fat guy on tv
The Enemy says:
who was said to "know a lot about chips"
Bailey says:
what??
Bailey says:
he knows what colours they come in?
Bailey says:
what the good makes are?
Bailey says:
the pros and cons of clay vs. plastic?
The Enemy says:
nah, he was fat
Bailey says:
oh I see
Bailey says:
the other kind of chips?
The Enemy says:
there are no pros for plastic
Bailey says:
not too heavy, and cheap -- bit like a crack whore

Friday, August 04, 2006

So, logically...

[Re: Richard's computer mouse]


Richard:

*strokes it - it purrrrs*

Sarah:

Shouldn't it squeak ?

Richard:

Nah - it ate itself in an unfortunate attempt at self-cunnilingus, so it logically thinks it's a cat now.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

But why would I be on a container ship?

James (badminton):
Don't want you getting captured by pirates

Cez:
Pirates?

James:
There are pirates in your general area - they attack container ships and the like
James:
so there, nuh

It was late.

Always fun to mishear things...

Gerard: Spot how many lurkers I have.
Me: How many hookers do you have?
[a beat]
Gerard: Lur. Kerssss.