On circus entertainment

Spending 7 hours making rainbow jelly vodka shots whilst the turducken roasted...

Dr James 'Jimbear' Blundell: How do you think it'll taste?
Dr Dr Richard Manns: (Without missing a beat) Like sucking off a clown.

Afterwards, Dr Blundell tried his first one and immediately coughed/sprayed it over the other 79. This didn't stop their consumption by all.

New term, new lecturer quotes.

Lecturer:

"Leptospirosis is a disease of lamp-posts."

The joys of cell cultures

As I'm lowering a pipette into a bottle of culture medium...

Vincent: "If you contaminate the medium, it would ruin my entire PhD."
[pregnant pause]
Vincent: "So... uh... no pressure?"

Later, an incubator for cell cultures starts beeping (loudly and annoyingly, so you know it's important) - Franzi goes to it with an air of authority, but the beeping continues:

Vincent: "It's under control?"
Franzi: [shrugs] "Or it will explode in five minutes."