All right, enjoy the scenic route then

As I'm unlocking my bike across the street from Trinity Great Gate, a man on a bike stops by me -

Man: "Excuse me, can you tell me where St John's College is?"
Me: [pointing at the very nearby main gate, right in front of us] "It's that big building right over there."
Man: "On the left?...er...right?"
Me: "On the left, yes."
Man: "On the right?"
Me: "On the left. That big gate with gold designs over it, see, right there."
Man: "Okay, thank you."

As I watch, he cycles off (the wrong way up a one-way street) and turns off... to the right.

Neuro = last rotation = yay

Nick Jefferey, trying to get his dog to lie down for a neurological exam
(imagine all patiently said with the same intonation):

"Fred, down." [dog does nothing]
"Fred, down." [dog does nothing]
"Fred, down." [dog does nothing]
"Fred, down." [dog does nothing]
"Fred, down." [dog does nothing]
"Fred, down." [dog does nothing]
"Fred, down." [dog does nothing]
[he lifts Fred and forcefully lays the dog down on his side]
"Good boy, Fred!"

----

After being offered the chance to test tendon reflexes with a patella hammer:

Greg: "Nah, I've tapped a fair few dogs in my time. [pause] Ohhhh... that sounded terrible."

Also...

The Quote Book -

bringing you wit, wisdom, innuendo, and multiple feet in mouths since September 2005!

And innuendo.
Did I mention the innuendo?

Happy (slightly belated) 3rd birthday, and 3rd anniversary of the first quote!

Messages received in the space of two minutes' silence:

Louise says:
Hello
Louise says:
Hai
Louise says:
Hi
Louise says:
Yo
Louise says:
Hey
Louise says:
Hiya
Louise says:
Heya
Louise says:
ARGH
Louise says:
S'up
Louise says:
Holla
Louise says:
Hola
Louise says:
Bonjour
Louise says:
Bonjorno
Louise says:
Shalom
Louise says:
Dia Duit
Louise says:
Hello?
Louise says:
Are you there??

Bailey says:
yes
Bailey says:
but you didn't ask that until now