He's like a mammary GPS

During a conversation about obesity at BA dinner -

Richard: "General rule: breasts should go past bellybutton, not the other way around."
[I look down, Richard looks confused]
Me: "I was just checking how this slouched posture affects things."
Richard: "It doesn't. I'm aware of the location of your tits at all times, don't worry."
[pause]
Richard: "You really shouldn't let me near alcohol."

All right, enjoy the scenic route then

As I'm unlocking my bike across the street from Trinity Great Gate, a man on a bike stops by me -

Man: "Excuse me, can you tell me where St John's College is?"
Me: [pointing at the very nearby main gate, right in front of us] "It's that big building right over there."
Man: "On the left?...er...right?"
Me: "On the left, yes."
Man: "On the right?"
Me: "On the left. That big gate with gold designs over it, see, right there."
Man: "Okay, thank you."

As I watch, he cycles off (the wrong way up a one-way street) and turns off... to the right.