On circus entertainment

Spending 7 hours making rainbow jelly vodka shots whilst the turducken roasted...

Dr James 'Jimbear' Blundell: How do you think it'll taste?
Dr Dr Richard Manns: (Without missing a beat) Like sucking off a clown.

Afterwards, Dr Blundell tried his first one and immediately coughed/sprayed it over the other 79. This didn't stop their consumption by all.

Well, that explains everything.

NB: "Creep feed" = the pellets fed to young calves.

Farm animal vet:

"I knew a guy once who caught ringworm from eating creep feed. [dismissively] But he's from Yorkshire."

On the dangers of... tiny cats?

A discussion about how cats generally like to be outdoors, so shouldn't be kept inside full-time...

Han-Ley: "But if you had a really big house..."

Me: "Yeah, but in that case you should consider getting an FIV-positive cat from a shelter-" *

HL: "What?! I don't want a cat with AIDS..."

Me: "Well, it can't give it to you."

HL: "But what if the virus mutates?"

Me: "And if you then... ate the cat? While very drunk?"

HL: "... It could crawl into my mouth while I sleep."



*Their immune system is destroyed by the virus, so you have to prevent them being exposed to any (cat) disease, and the only effective way to do this is to keep them away from other cats. As you can imagine, they're more difficult to rehome.