Well, that explains everything.

NB: "Creep feed" = the pellets fed to young calves.

Farm animal vet:

"I knew a guy once who caught ringworm from eating creep feed. [dismissively] But he's from Yorkshire."

Overheard in Primark

"I should totally be the new Trinny & Susannah."
- hipster boy wearing girls' jeans and a beret

-----

In the far end of the women's changing rooms, a loud conversation starts up in (as far as I can recognise) Cantonese. The cubicles next to me house a group of English teenagers -

Girl: "Uh, are they taking the piss or are they speaking, like... a language?"
Friend: "Shhh! ... I know what you mean though."

No, it really isn't.

Cez's mum: "Our beer's really strong in Malaysia, it's 14 percent!"