On TV politics

Richard [to Darcy, over-aggressively]: I asked you a question, and you failed to answer it!

James: Calm down, it's not a Tory leadership debate.

Casual xenophobia

Andrew: "What's the best thing to do in Edinburgh in a single evening?"

HL: "Take the train back down to London."

Medical snobbery

James: "My dad is a doctor."

HL: "A real doctor?"

James: "A GP."

HL and Cez together: "No, then."

Always best to know when to stop

Andrew is fairly new to poker and has been drawn to bet far too much money on a bad hand, which he eventually loses...

Andrew: "I just - he raised me, and I couldn't stop betting..."
HL: "Don't ever go to Las Vegas. You'll leave naked. With AIDS."
Others: "...AIDS?!"
HL: "Prostitution for more gambling money."

On bitchy comments

Richard, commenting on a pair of girls: "Oh my God, are those two looking for business?!"