The problem of a noisy restaurant.

Bailey: Shame you missed that discussion on bestiality.
Richard: What?
Bailey: I think we talked about... dog, chicken, and horse bestiality.
Richard: [looks worried] What?? Where was I?
Blaise: It was while you three were telling Mathmo jokes.

Note: this is paraphrased, but as close as I can remember to what was actually said.

Before I forget...

From the Pub Quiz...

Richard (to Ben): I want your babies!

Ben:
In the year Ronald Reagan became President, who came second?
Multiple members of the BBO team:
HIS WIFE.

Later in the night -

Richard (to Ben): You can have your babies back.

There was an implication of "you bastard" in that last one.

Don't Get Angry, Get Even... :P

*after a random rant about phones having no power*

Bailey: It's just that I thought you were quite angry back there...

Richard: Oh no no, I fake my anger, like I fake my orgasms.

Brotherly love

I've been meaning to post this one for a while, and many people have heard it in person. My brother and I were playing Worms 2, where teams of worms attempt to blow each other up using grenades, bazookas, and banana bombs. Not to mention flying sheep.


Brother: "If you just use that rope, you can go down on him."
[I think he may have meant 'to'.]


And later:


Brother: "I couldn't decide whether to blow you or blow him, but I decided to blow you."


I'm starting to think my parents should just not have bothered reproducing.

Guest appearance: Gerard and a nativity statuette

Background:
We have a decorative crib (nativity scene) in our house during the festive season. Unfortunately, the figures are plaster-cast so tend to break easily when 5-year-olds attempt to use them in games. One of the "wise men" figures was decapitated in an interesting fashion which looked a bit like his head was on a hinge:

Gerard:

You know what would sell? "Wise man" talking cookie-jars.

[swings head on hinge to "open" the jar]

#"We three kings/ of Orient are -"#

[closes the jar]

[opens the jar]

[Wise Man voice] "I bring gifts of gold, myrrh - and cookies!"

I Apologise Most Sincerely for the title of this post, which is "lol Internet".

From another chat email sent around the BBOC by Richard:

I'm bored. Bailey, get online and entertain me - :P

Naturally, I wouldn't ignore a friend in need, so I signed in to MSN.

Richard Manns says:

[Richard immediately goes offline for ten seconds]

Richard Manns says:

[Richard immediately goes offline again]
[a minute passes]

Richard Manns says:

[Richard immediately goes offline again]

My sympathies are with you at this difficult MSN-less(?) time.