Instant Quotes, Just Add Alcohol!

Richard: "You sucked me into my father fingering a dwarf!"

Me: "Nyehhh!"
Richard: "Nyehhhh!"
Blaise: "Nyehhhhhh!... I felt left out."

Random posh girl: "I don't consider myself posh because my parents worked."

She's on a roll

While visiting my aunt, she told us about a minor car accident they'd had due to losing a wheel unexpectedly.

Aunt: "The steering column started to vibrate first, and we didn't know it was a problem, and I grabbed onto it and said to [passenger], 'Look, I'm Dolly Parton! #IIIIIIiiiiieeeeIIIIIIiiiieeeeIIIIIiiii, willlllll allllllwayyyyys lovvvvvve yooOOOOOOOuuuuu....#' and then there was a bump and I looked out the window and said 'That's my fucking wheel rolling away!', and then we went 'clonk' and stopped."

Mammy: "You know what she did as her encore? '#You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Wheel...#' "

Zing!

During my unexpected extra day at home, there was a family chat re. my upcoming additional year in university -


Uncle Martin: "Well, you know, it's a good year to have stayed back, with the economy and all -"
Me: "Yeah, everything's up in the air at the moment."
Mammy: "Except aeroplanes."