On academia (Running with mathmos, Part I)

Cez went on a statistics course recently, and now she thinks she's a mathmo...

Lecturer [looking at the course schedule that he had written]: "Hmm, start at 9, finish at 4.30? Seems a bit light..."

Cez: "Isn't that what academia's all about?"

Lecturer: [gives her a LOOK]

Cez: "Er... I mean, isn't that what a study day's all about?"

Lecturer: "... That's more like it."

Woman. Lecturer. Legend.

A selection of quotes from an infamous female lecturer...

Telling us to keep nails trimmed for rectalling -
"You can have a gin hand and a rectal hand, but one arm needs to be short and shitty."

Describing the size of a mare's cervix -
"You've all seen the size of the end of a stallion's penis - you could stick your whole head in there!"

"Some people prefer to use chains, but I have ropes in my office."

"Now we all know penises are wonderful, but let's face it, they're dirty things."

"Ooh, I'm a very cheap date now."

"Like putting a hand down your shirt, or somebody else's... don't do it now. Later. No, not down my shirt."

"I'm very grateful he had blue balls."

"I am not going to mention any other end- ... ender- ... hormone things."

And finally, the oft-heard refrain (paraphrased):
"When I do my own revue I'll be taking the piss out of you lot and the stupid things students say."