Collected quotes from Joe's "I've handed in my dissertation" party...

Joe: "When the voices talk to you: stabstabstab."

Joe: "Stop trying to stab yourself."
Darrell: "I'm not, I'm just trying to feel..."

Darrell: "The problem isn't with slugs, it's with homelessness in snails."

Chris: "The trouser orthodontist: keeping your trousers up, pulling your teeth down!"

(I may have accredited these wrongly - it was a very good night, after all - if so, let me know and it'll be fixed.)