Typical vet conversations

Tom:
"I'm a very picky non-scavenger. It has to be breathing and twitching when I bite into it... or at least have just fallen out of the tree."

Greg:
"...What's that?"

Tom:
"How to be a fruitarian meat-eater."

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Tom (to Mary): "Kicking the bottom of your clogs is like kicking a tree with an elephant in it."